This post is really accompanying notes to my "Speak Out" entry. I did have some notes on the page, but figured that since the entry was linked not hosted, it wasn't fair to have it on the same page (as any notes should not be judged as part of my entry).
Firstly, why did I decide to enter an audio piece rather than text like everyone else? Well, I originally wrote it as text, which I prefer as it is more accessible, generally speaking. People will spend more time reading than they will listening. But the piece was so personal that I didn't feel text did it justice and I didn't feel it pushed me enough. I wanted to try something new and challenging.
Listening back to the piece, I was strangely surprised by it. The woman speaking is poweful, passionate and knowledgable... none of these really fit with my self-image. Maybe it is a little too scripted and the ending too cheesy, but I sound so strong and in control.
So how do I feel about it? In a word, proud. In fact, so proud that I told the counsellor I work with all about the entry. I think she was as surprised as me about how direct it was. My next decision is whether I share it with her or not. When I thought it was to be hosted on the soroco blog, that was an easier decision. Now it's just linked to here, that's a little more vulnerable..!
In fact, that vulnerability has played a large part in my feelings today. Whereas before it was quite a disembodied piece, by promoting the competition to friends and colleagues on Facebook, it has made it very personal and really opened up my past to people I may not have chosen to share it with otherwise. But this is important to me, so I'm willing to do it. And I'm prepared to take the questions and comments that may come with it.
Or, at least, in theory!